Yes divorce is bad for the woman, bad for the man and extremely worse for the kids. Divorce and separation ruin and destroys all attributes of Love and marriage – caring, attachment, commitment, attraction and intimacy. Love is a commitment and partnership that brings two perfect strangers together and despite their differences they agree to love each other and live together till death do them part. Lovers often became too intoxicated in love and relationship that they tend to do anything and say whatever all in name of love to win their partners heart but soon after saying I do and the partnership progresses, true identity, true love and true self starts to emerge and then the lovers start to realize that it was only a wishful thinking. They start to realize that they have made life mistakes by committing to someone they are not compatible with and should not have been with at the first place.
The reality is that most marriages fail even before getting started. The couples just manage to hold on to the broken marriage just to keep their families and friends happy. Some couples who already had kids just hang on and pretend things are fine just make their children and their parents and friends happy and proud. The irony of it all is that some women actually do not intend to tie the nut with any man but only do so just to answer somebody’s family name and avoid the stigma of been called a single old maid. On the other hand, some men also do not intend to say I do with any woman but was forced to by his parents, friends and other social norms that made men enjoy the status of a family man or risk been called a loser. During the cause of research, I came across some reasons that contributed to what causes divorce in marriages and why couples should divorce to give peace a chance and start all over. I thought it wise to share opinion on them.
Top Reasons For Broken Marriages.
1. Desire to be independent – When couples blindly tie the nut without understanding the basic principles of marriage, the urge to be free again and get out of the mistake comes up shortly after saying I do.
2. Getting attracted to another person – To some couples, waking up in the morning seeing the same old face is very boring especially if there is no attraction in their relationship and soon after, one starts to get attracted to someone they meet in parties, office, street, online etc. When the love dies, attraction and every other thing dies with it.
3. Infidelity. When one partner is not satisfied sexually in bed, infidelity comes to play. He/she starts to look outside for sexual satisfaction and that means death to their marriage.
4. Less attracted to the person in a sexual way – When the love becomes so boring and weaknesses starts to pump up, couples become less attracted to each other even when naked. They loose interest in each other and making love becomes an obligation.
5. Lack of proper body maintenance – Soon after marriage, some couples stopped all basic hygiene and simple exercise and quickly became too fat and out of shape thinking after all they are already married and not in the dating process anymore but only to realize later that their partner is no longer interested in them.
6. Conflict in tastes and desires – Yes some couples are completely perfect strangers that should never be married at the first place. They have nothing in common when it comes to taste and even desire for any smallest thing in their house or anywhere. Some couples have high taste while others are low maintenance.
7. Continuous nagging – Yes, Some women are born sarcastic and keep nagging their husbands to extreme and some men are too hard and never satisfied of anything the wife does so both couples only found solace at their offices, with friends, etc and shortly their relationship hit rock and goes sour as they part ways.
8. Comparing the man or woman to others constantly – When there is dissatisfaction of any sought especially incompetent in bed, there will be urge to test something different and a partner starts to compare the other to someone they met at parties, social gathering, events etc. Such constant comparison will eventually compel the couple to try something different.
9. Addiction to alcohol or drugs – The darkest side of blind marriage is that some partners pretend to be cool and clean of every addiction just to win the love of other partner but it would not be long before true colors and perils starts to emerge, then other partner discovered that he/she married an alcoholic and drug addict. Love and relationship or rather marriage never thrive with an alcoholic and drug addict.
10. Deterioration in the health of one spouse or suffering from incurable ailments like HIV – One of the unfortunate situations in marriage is when the health of the other partner deteriorates or suffering from incurable ailments. Though the agony of it is if the partner contacted the incurable ailment through solicited sex or drug usage then other partner has no choice but to pack his/her bags and say goodbye to the marriage irrespective of how strong it might seem to be.
11. Physical and mental abuse and exhibiting sadistic tendencies – Some men are really hard and has no soft spot for their wife. They go wild, furious and sadistic over every smallest thing and that tendency scares off his wife as she has no choice but to run for her life. Relatively, some women are born sarcastic and keep nagging their husbands to extreme to the extent that the only thing that stops them is a hot spank and some men really does that.
12. Impotency or inability to bear children – Well, this is something natural that comes out after marriage and some people cannot handle or bear it hence, the marriage collapse soon after it gets started. Most men likes to have children after marriage at least to prove and make their parents and families happy and women on the other hand likes to have active sexual life with their husband therefore, it becomes a big problem if the man is Impotent or the wife is not able to bear children.
13. We just fell out of love – When nothing seemed to be working sexually, believe it or not, couples fell out of love. Though they hide the feeling within themselves as they maybe ashamed to share it with families or friends.
14. He cheated – He cheated or she cheated, this is only an alibi by couples who’s relationship has failed internally and one partner looking for alternative way out. When there is no other proven fault to dump the relationship, one starts to accuse the other of cheating just to create an avenue to go test something new.
15. He lied about something – Who never lied about something. Can anyone tell me who never lied about something in the past. This is again an alibi purported when a couple finds someone new and wants to end his/her marriage in other to start a new love.
16. We were always fighting and realized we shouldn’t be together – Fighting is a result of unplanned marriage by two perfect strangers who shouldn’t be together at the firstt place but were blindfolded by first attractions. The differences should have been resolved before saying I do.
17. He wasn’t very ambitious when it came to his career – Again, this is not a point to consider when it comes to divorce or separation. This is only an alibi and part of a game plan just to get rid of the other partner because career ambition is something that could be fixed at any point of the relationship.
18. He didn’t get along with my friends and family – Love comes first before friends and family and he is not marrying your friends or your partner. This is just a mere alibi to leave your partner when the love is already doomed and heading no where.
19. Irreconcilable differences – Most couples claim that the reason they are divorcing is due to irreconcilable differences. I do not seem to buy that notion because based on above reasons, they are all reconcilable if the couples really want and love each other. Its only a matter of talking and forgiving each other of what ever they have done wrong. No one is perfect.
The funny thing is – when couples got into marital problems, and one partner wants to leave to test something new or maybe better, then irreconcilable differences comes in between. Inadvertently, its only a game plan to formally divorce and discharge the other partner while deep inside he/she is really very happy to finalize the divorce and separation and be free again.
In conclusion, perfect strangers should be left alone to discover each other, learn about each other, play with each other, fall in love with each other before saying I do with each other. Forcing a man or woman to love and marry with a perfect stranger is suicidal and such marriage fails even before it gets started.
No matter how couples try to pretend, Sex is the most important key that holds marriages together. When it lacks, the result is a troubled relationship and eventually a broken marriage that paves the way for divorce and separation. To have a sustainable love and happy relationship, couples must device a means to keep each other satisfied sexually, if not, that marriage is doomed to failure.
Relationship advice – Love is not blind, only the lovers are blindfolded. Save your marriage. If your still single, get to know each other well enough before even contemplating of saying I Do and getting married.
Share your expert opinion on this to help alleviate the problems of millions of people out there still trapped in a bad romance.